We tend to judge people based on the results of their actions. If the effects were harmful to us or others, then clearly the intentions must’ve been harmful, thoughtless, or at least highly inconsiderate.
But when it comes to us, well, that’s a different story altogether. Plans go to pieces, life sometimes gets in the way of doing the right thing, but we care about others even if it doesn’t always come across. Surely people know that.
Do you see the irony?
This dynamic of “what I would like others to think of me versus what I think of others” is deeply ingrained in western society. Most of us are utterly oblivious to it. It takes real empathy to notice the other side of every story.
You can use this dynamic at work in your stories to make them that much more believable.
This is some good stuff. “The road to hell…” and all that. This is sort of in the theme of, no one is the villain in their own story. We know our motivations and they always seem righteous, while other’s actions that thwart our own simply look “bad”. In my opinion this is such an important element of a good character. No matter how horrible their actions, it seemed like the best choice to them at the time. How do we render that in our writing?
Thank you.
My advice is to give your characters lots of interesting choices. And don’t cheat because you, as the author, want everything to turn out fine in the end. Things are much more interesting if it seems like they’ll never be fine again.
Most writers I worked with de-escalate their conflict because they want things to be normal again.
What genre are you writing?